Written by 16:14 Funny, Jokes

15 Little Johnny Short Jokes – Short Stories [Series 2]

In this article, we are giving you 15 Little Johnny short Jokes which will definitely crack you up. Also read 5 Little Johnny Jokes to Make You LOL, Everyone loves to laugh a little in this stressful life. With this Covid-19 almost tearing us up, we have decided to gather some best jokes from around the internet to make you laugh out loud. Credits should go to the anonymous creators of these jokes. so let’s get into this. Please note that this is the first series of Little Johnny jokes. There will be more in the future.

Little Johnny comes home and his father sighs, “Alright, boy, out with your report card.” Johnny says, “I don’t have it, dad.” “What? Why not?” asks his father. “I borrowed it to my friend. He wanted to freak out his parents.”

Little Johnny plays “shoot the apple from the head” with his friends. The first shot lands directly in his eye. “Ooowww man, you got me right in the eye!” he complains to his friend. But the other friend also wants a go and persuades Johnny that he is a much better shot. But bingo, the second shot gets Johnny in the other eye. Johnny gives up: “Well I’ve had it with this game, I’m going home. Mom said I should come back once it gets dark anyway.”

Little Johnny was late for school. The teacher asked him why, and Little Johnny explained it was because he met a man who had lost his wallet on the street. “Ah,” nodded the teacher, “you were helping him find it!” “Um, not really,” said Johnny, “but I had to keep standing on it until he would give up and go away.”

The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow. – Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that he’s finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper. – “But Johnny, you didn’t paint anything on it?” says the teacher. – “Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away.”

 Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.” Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is…” Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’.” Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’”

Little Johnny goes to the zoo with his mom. –
Johnny: “Mom, look, there’s a finger in the shark tank! Mom? Mooooom???!!!”

Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. – The mayor sees him and asks, “Hey Johnny, where are you going with the cow?” – “I’m taking her to the bulls so she would get pregnant,” answers Johnny. – The mayor is shocked, “Surely your father had better be doing that?” – Little Johnny thinks about it for a bit and shakes his head, “Nah, I think it’s really best left with the bulls.”

At school:
Johnny, where’s your homework?
Johnny: I’m very sorry, I don’t have it here.
Teacher: How come?
Johnny: I ate my exercise books.
Teacher: What?! Why would you do such a thing?!
Johnny: The dog refused to.

Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, “Dad, tomorrow there’s a special ‘Adults’ evening’ at school. – Daddy is surprised, “Really? Special?” – “Yes,” nods Johnny, “it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers.”

Teacher: “Are you even paying attention, Johnny? Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!”
Little Johnny: “Who, me?”
Teacher: “Wow who knew, very well done.”

Teacher: It’s the fourth time you’re late for school this week Johnny! Do you know what that means?! –
Little Johnny: That it’s Thursday, Miss Bramwell.

After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, “You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. And why is that?” Little Johnny offers, “Miss, it’s so we wouldn’t wake all those people sleeping.”

Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused. She says, “Johnny, if I hear one more time ‘Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that’, you will be in big trouble! I don’t want to hear the word mommy again tonight. Now off to bed you go!” There’s a short pause, after which Johnny says hesitantly, “Mrs Lambden, I want a glass of water, please.”

The teacher was trying to put to use her recent psychology education. She asked everyone in her class, “Alright, if any of you think you are stupid, please stand up!” A few seconds pass by and then Little Johnny stands up. Startled, the teacher says, “Oh, do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?” “No, Miss, but I didn’t want to leave you standing all alone!”

Teacher: “If you had two dollars and you asked your daddy for another dollar, how many dollars would you have in the end?” Without hesitation, Johnny answers, “Two dollars.” Teacher isn’t happy, “Come on, Johnny, you don’t know how to count.” Johnny shrugs, “Maybe, but I do know my dad!”

Teacher asks his class one day, “What would you like to be when you grow up?” Johnny answers first, saying, “I will follow in my father’s footsteps and become a policeman.” Teacher raises his eyebrows, “Johnny, I didn’t know your father is a policeman.” “Well, he isn’t,” explains Johnny. “He’s a burglar.”

Little Johnny comes proudly to his mom: “Mom, I’ve got a great idea for an invention!” Mom: “Cool, tell me.” Johnny: “It’s a computerized hair-cutting machine. You put your head in a cube and the scissors cut whatever hairstyle you wish.” Mom: “But how would that work, Johnny? People have all sorts of different head shapes and sizes!” Johnny: “Only before, mom. Only before!!

If you these littly johnny jokes/stories, kindly add a comment below. In that case we will add more jokes in the near future. And also request what kinds of jokes that you would love to read. Share.

Stay Safe !!