In this Asian jokes funny as hell list we have compiled the most voted jokes all around the internet. Some jokes might be a little bit of racist and sorry for that. I hope you like the list.
Asian Jokes Funny as Hell
Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house?
A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.
God made each and everyone of us until he got to China.
Copy paste…copy paste…
Asians are so bad at driving, I’m starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.
My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.
Q: How do you know if Asians are moving into the neighborhood?
A: The Mexicans start buying car insurance.
What the number one crime in asia? Identity theft.
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is Asian, one is Mexican, one is black, and the last one is white.
The Asian walks to the ledge and says, “This is for all my people” and jumps off the roof.
Next, the Mexican walks to the ledge and also says, “This is for all my people” and then he jumps off the roof.
Next is the black guy’s turn.
The black guy walks to the ledge and says, “This is for all my people” and then throws the white guy off the roof.
Saw this bumper sticker in L.A. – “I’m not drunk, I’m Asian”
Hardest job in the world: police sketch artist in China.
If you drop your phone in water, put it in a bowl of rice. Overnight an Asian will come to your house, fix the phone, eat the rice and then run away.
Q: How do Asian parents name their kids?
A: They drop a tin can down the stairs and it makes the noise Bing ling wata ling.
My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital.
I went to see him the next day, but he just kept whispering “Chun Yu Yan” over and over – and then died.
I was very sad and googled his last message after the burial.
Apparently, it means “You’re standing on my oxygen tube.”
What’s the flattest surface you can iron your clothes on?
Asian girl’s ass.
A guy asks a Chinese lady for her phone number she says, “Free, sex, free, sex, tonight.”
The guy said,” wow” and her friend says she means 363629.
How do they name Chinese baby’s?
They throw silverware down the stairs until they hear something they like.
What happened to the Asian when he walked into a wall with a boner?
He hit his nose.
My teacher sends this Chinese kid out of the classroom cause she thought he was sleeping.
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners.
He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.”
“Hans Olaffsen?”, he muses. “How the heck does that fit in here?”
So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.
The tourist asks, “How did this place get a name like ‘Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'”
The old man answers, “Is the name of the owner.”
The tourist asks, “Well, who and where is the owner?”
“Me, is right here,” replies the old man.
“You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?”
“Is simple,” says the old man. “Many, many years ago when coming to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was a big blonde Swede. Lady looks at him and go, ‘What your name?’
He say, ‘Hans Olaffsen.’
Then she looks at me and goes, ‘What your name?’
I say, ‘Sem Ting.'”
How do you know if an Asian robbed you?
Your homework is done and cats are gone.
Yo mama so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phone book.
What do you name an Asian baby with problems? Sum ting wong.
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Asian? A car thief that can’t drive.
A Mexican, a Cuban, and a Chinese guy are riding in a truck.
How do you know if you’ve walked into the wrong Chinese bookstore?
It’ll be called “Wong Fook Hing Book Store”.
God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.
Me: Staring contest. Go!
Me: I win! You blinked! Haha
Friend: You bastard, I’m asian!
How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss!
Q: What do you do when your computer gets wet?
A: Put it in a bowl of rice, an Asian will show up and they will fix it.
Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant?
A: Sum Yung Gi.
Guys, enough with the Asian jokes…they’re all the same.
A black guy is walking through the woods, he starts to hear a sound.
It goes ching chong wu.
So he starts to walk to where he heard the sound.
Soon enough he comes across a Chinese guy and a river.
The black guy ask was that noise.
The Chinese guy says every time I throw a quarter in this river it tells me the name of an old relative.
See watch, Chinese guy throws a quarter, ching chong Chun.
The black guy says let me try.
He throws a quarter in and the river says the chimpanzee.
Hope you like the list of funny asian jokes. If you want any content to be removed, let me know in the comment section.
Source – Bored Bat