at 10.00 AM; I woke up and it was one of those mornings – one where I’m drenched in sweat, barely clothed, and where I have vomit all over my bed. I tried to do it yesterday but I couldn’t. I tried to finally end my suffering, the agonizing pain that doesn’t ever leave me alone, but I failed. The handful of pills and the bottle of wine that I chugged – somehow they didn’t help. I’m tired. Another day of pain for me…
Another day of working my job as a janitor at a concert hall. I came in and my coworkers pretended not to notice me, as per usual. My boss noticed me, and briefed me: “There’s a Pink Floyd cover band playing in the main hall today, and they brought lots of light effects. Our electrical grid won’t provide enough power, so make sure the extra generators are running. Now chop chop, there’s about 1500 people coming in tonight!”
I watched the crowd seep into the venue – lively, excited faces. I can’t help but feel a little bit excited myself too, more than I have been in some time. But why do they deserve to be happy and do I not? I go to the control room and spin up the generators. I hope my boss will be happy with my efforts tonight.
The crowd has taken their seats and I close the concert hall doors – the show will start any minute now. The hallways are completely empty and I lock the front doors too. I can hear the band go on stage while I make my way backstage. I make sure all the outside doors are closed and locked, after which I head up to the control room, where I find my boss lounging. I flip the switch that controls the vents.
My vision’s becoming blurry. The crowd seems to feel that something’s off too. There’s lots of yawning and the band is getting duller by the minute. I can see them struggling, just as I was struggling yesterday. The light effects are showing the thick, foggy mist that occupies the air. My boss has resorted to a nap behind me, and my head starts spinning while the band’s lead singer falls over. The hall has almost gone completely quiet now. Someone will eventually find out that I hosed the exhaust fumes from the generators into the concert hall, and I hope they realize that happiness is only real when it’s shared.