Written by 16:30 English Stories

Don’t fuck with uncle Ted

One day at the end of class, little Billy’s teacher asked the class to go home and think of a story and then conclude with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.

Little Suzy raises her hand. “My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road.” The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies, “Don’t keep all your eggs in one basket.”

Next is little Bobby. “Well, my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched.” Teacher asks for the moral of the story. Bobby replies, “Don’t count your eggs before they’re hatched.”

Last is little Billy. “My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war. His plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun, and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands.”

Teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story. Billy replies, “Don’t fuck with uncle Ted when he’s been drinking.”