Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal.
A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing.
You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.
Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet.
Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.
P. J. O’Rourke
Next to a circus, there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
Frank McKinney Hubbard
People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.
I stopped believing in Santa Clause when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
[Read Random Post]
I get a little behind during Lent, but it comes out even at Christmas.
Xmas: The only time of the year where you can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.
Dear Santa, I can explain.
I’m dreaming of a white Xmas. But, if it runs out, I’ll drink the red.
Dear Santa, I’ve been good for the past few days. Let’s focus on that.