1. Be f#%king polite. Please.
2. Men look at a woman’s behind and think “Wow! What an ass.” Women look at a man’s face and think the very same thing.
3. Stop looking for trouble. I’m right here.
4. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he’s too old for it.
5. Sure, your prince might come. But just in case he doesn’t, God created wine.
6. Few things turn me on like good grammar.
7. No one is ever “Just kidding”.
8. Aaaaand I’m already over this day.
9. Never let anyone tell you you’re too young to do something. A baby shark is still a f#%king shark.
10. I like my coffee like I like my oxygen – CONSTANT.
11.  You’re ridiculous. Want to be best friends?
12.  I’m happy as long as I’m not hungry.
13. I feel bad for the people who change their birthday for April Fools Day and then their mom wishes them Happy Birthday 🙂
14. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
15. Marriage means silent suicide.
16. Silent people have the craziest minds.
17. If Monday had a face, I would punch it.
18. Enjoy your life. There’s is plenty of time to be dead.
19. Life is onetime offers use it well.
20. Do you still hate me? I don’t care!
21. I don’t get drunk, I get awesome.
22. 3 mistakes of everyone’s life: Facebook, Twitter and Whatsapp
23. 80% boys have a girlfriend and rest have a brain…
24. Trust me you will dance – Alcohol
25. Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.

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