This time we are bringing you another list of the top 10 dirty jokes stories Funny for you to laugh at. Due to the high request for short stories, this list has been carefully compiled by our team.
All these are not short jokes but very short stories, and we all love to keep reading. These stories will hype up the communication between you and your partner. Spice up the conversions with these stories, If you are new to the relationship, maybe these are not for you to share with him or her.
Top 10 Dirty Short Stories to tell Him or Her
All of these stories are been found on the internet and we have compiled them for you. Hope you love these stories. Give a comment if you would love to read more. Read more English stories.
Neighbor Blows it Back
One night a little girl walks in on her parents having s*x. The mother is going up and down on the father and when she sees her daughter looking at them she immediately stops.
“What are you doing, Mommy?” The mother is too embarrassed to tell her little girl about s*x so she makes up an answer.
“Well, sweetie, sometimes daddy’s tummy gets too big so I have to jump up and down on it to flatten it out.”
The little girl replies, “Well, mommy you really shouldn’t bother with that.”
The mother has a confused look on her face, “Why do you say that sweetheart?”
The little girl replies, “Because mommy, every time you leave in the morning, the lady next door comes over and blows it back up.”
Teacher and her 3 boy students
Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.”
Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.”
Boy 2 laughed…
Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 2: “I saw your bra straps.”
Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one month.”
The teacher bent down to pick up a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class…
Teacher: “Why are you leaving?”
Boy 3: “I think my school days are over.”
Boy: Let’s play the firetruck game.
Girl: How do we play?
Boy: I run my fingers up your leg, and you say “Redlight” when you want me to stop.
*a Few seconds later*
Boy: Firetrucks don’t stop for red lights
Two men were shipwrecked on an island. They decided to venture inland to see if they could find someone. The men came across a village in the middle of a jungle, immediately they were surrounded by a tribe of islanders.
The chief walks to the men and says, ” What do you choose, Death or Boogaloo?” The first man thinks for a second and replies, “I choose Boogaloo”.
The chief smiles and the tribe begins to chant “boogaloo, boogaloo, boogaloo”. The chief takes the man, bends him over, and f**ks him up the ***.
The second man is horrified at what he has just witnessed and then the chief walks up to him and asks, “You must choose Death or Boogaloo”?
The man thinks he would rather die than have boogaloo, so he replies, “I choose death”.
The tribe roars in ecstasy and the chief yells, “Death by boogaloo!!!”
Out On The Balcony
Little 6-year-old John Smith’s parents felt really horny at 11 AM on Sunday and wanted to make love, but had to get John away for at least one hour. So they told him to go to the balcony and report all activities of their neighbors for the next hour. Being the innocent, dutiful son he was raised to be, he did as he was told.
His parents amused themselves, and then came the formality of the report at 12 PM.
John said, “For the past hour, the Wilsons were watching TV, Mr. Cole was playing the piano, the Johnsons were playing carrom together and the Donalds were having sex.”
His parents were shocked! They asked him “How do you know that?” He said, “Their son was out on the balcony too.”
A hot-looking blonde walks into a casino and wanders up to one of the craps tables. She looks at the two table handlers and says “I want to bet $25,000 dollars. It’s all the money I have. The only request is that I play topless as I have found that this provides me the most luck at winning.”
The two men agree and watch anxiously as the woman unbuttons her blouse, removes it, and then removes her bra. She puts the money down on the table and rolls the dice. As the dice stop, she starts jumping up and down and screaming, “I WON I WON I WON!” She gathers her winnings puts the chips in her bag, pulls on her shirt, and walks out.
The two men at the table look at each other, one asks the other, “So what did she roll?” The other man says, “I thought you were watching?”
Ladies and Gentlemen
One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what “bitch” and “bastard” mean. They explained that they mean “lady” and “gentleman.”
The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what “pens” and “vag*na” mean. His parents explained that they refer to “hats” and “coats.”
At supper the next day, Little Johnny’s mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled,” Oh f**k!” Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means “cut.” A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, “Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your pen*ses and vag*nas — we can’t wait to f**k the turkey!”
Once upon a time, there was a mute, he could communicate only with sign language, he searched for a cure to his condition his whole life, until one day he met a guy and was told that he was a mute like him and got cured.
The mute asked him with passion: “What did you do?”
The ex-mute replied: “I went to an African tribe and they cured me.”
The mute: “Please show me where they live.” The ex-mute showed him the location of the tribe and the path to it.
The mute started his journey with all the hope in the world days and days passed until he found the tribe. It was a tribe of Africans and everything was huge about them (if you know what I mean).
He signs told them the issue and they agreed to help. They tethered him with a robe, striped him off his clothes and one man entered his ****.
The mute yelled with all his voice, “AAAAAAAAAA”. The African replied: “Tomorrow will teach you the letter B.”
A man and his friend went to a bar and started talking. The man says to his friend “I think my wife is cheating on me.”
The friend says, “How do you know?”
The man replies, “She didn’t come home last night and she said she was with her sister Shirley.”
The friend said, “and…..”
The man says, “She is lying because I was with her sister last night.”
One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works.
“I’ve pulled you over for speeding, Ma’am. Could I see your driver’s license?” “What’s a license?” replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump. “It’s usually in your wallet,” replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it.
“Now may I see your registration?” asked the cop. “Registration….. what’s that….?” asked the blonde. “It’s usually in your glove compartment,” said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration. “I’ll be back in a minute.” said the cop and walked back to his car.
The officer called the dispatch to run a check on the woman’s license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back, “Ummm… is this woman driving a red sports car?” “Yes.” replied the officer “Is she a drop-dead gorgeous blonde?” asked the dispatcher. “Uh… yes.” replied the cop. “Here’s what you do,” said the dispatcher. “Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants.” “What? I can’t do that. It’s… inappropriate.” exclaimed the cop.
“Trust me. Just do it.” said the dispatcher. So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration, and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs… “Ohh no… not another breathalyzer…”
Oh no, Bo.
A man named Bob hired a teenage boy named Bo to mow his lawn. One day, Bo had to pee so he went inside Bob’s house. Bob walked in on Bo and noticed how big Bo’s p*n*s were. Bob asked how Bo got his p*ns that big. Bo said, “Every night I’m about to sleep with a woman, I whack my d*ck on the bedpost 3 times.” That night Bob decided to try this on his wife that night. Bob hit his d*ck on the bedpost 3 times and his wife said “Bo, is that you?”
Watching the Game
As the woman passed her daughter’s closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, “What in the world are you doing?”
The daughter replied, “Mom, I’m thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I’ll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.”
The next day, the girl’s father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said, “Dad, I’m thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I’ll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.”
A couple of days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the family room. She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.
The wife asked, “What the hell are you doing?” The husband replied, “I’m watching the ball game with my son-in-law.”
Bullet and 15 Years
There was a robbery at a bank and there was a pregnant lady who got shot in the stomach 3 times.
After the robbery she went to the doctor and asked Doctor will my triplets be okay?! The doctor says yes but in 15 years the bullets will come out.
FIFTEEN YEARS LATER
A 15-year-old runs up to his mum and says, ”Mum I was pooping and a bullet clinked the side of the toilet.” The mother is confused at first then remembers and tells him the story.
Later that day another child goes up to mum and says, ”Mum! I was peeing and a bullet came out!” So the mother tells the story.
The 3rd child comes up very slowly with his head bent down and the mum says, ”Lemme guess you were pooping and a bullet came out?”
He replies, ”No I was masturbating and I shot the dog…”
A husband and wife attending an art exhibition at the National Gallery in Cheyenne, Wyoming were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three very black and totally naked men sitting on a bench looking very exhausted just outside the entrance to a tunnel of a huge mine. Two of the guys had black organs, but the one in the middle had pinkish pen*s.
The black curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on for nearly half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African-Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal society. “In fact,” he pointed out, “some serious critics believe that the pinkish penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society.”
After the curator left, a distinguished old man approached the couple and with an impish twinkle in his eyes said, “Would you like to know what the painting is really about.”
“The curator of the gallery has explained it to us. It’s okay, we don’t need another interpretation?” said the husband.
But the wife is fascinated by the sly smile of the old man. She said, “wait, why would you know more than the curator?”
“Because I’m the guy who painted it,” he replied. “The truth is that those 3 men are not African-Americans,” the man said.
“What are they?”, the now-drawn husband asked.
“They’re three young coal miners. And they’re all white”, answered the old man.
As he turn his back to the baffled couple, he gives them a wink, and a mischievous grin then added, “the guy in the middle is just back from home after having lunch with his wife.”
So, If you like our short adult funny stories, kindly give us a comment below. We very much appreciate this.