I like that you guys are bonding, but I wish it wasn’t over mocking my judicial philosophy.

Abby Stone

Smelling like sausages does have its upside. Who doesn’t love a bunch of dogs following them around?

Abby Stone

What the hell is going on here? We’re only three cases in and we’ve already had a feminist werewolf, someone trying to break the time barrier, and what appears to be a classic body swap.

Abby Stone

Rand and I have run some marathons back home. Upstate, they let horses run it too. Which I know doesn’t seem fair but it kept us motivated.

Abby Stone

I prefer leaving the past in the past. If these walls could talk, they’d say, ‘Kill me.’

Dan Fielding

What do you mean ‘what did they look like?’ They looked like killers! They were mean-lookin’ and they had noses and they had dark suits!

Dan Fielding

I’m not that kind of lawyer. I deal with evidence and precedent, not feelings, emotions, and ‘mommy didn’t hug me enough, so now I eat people.

Dan Fielding

Is there no poetry left in flirting? Earlier today, a woman yelled, ‘I’d like to climb that!

Dan Fielding

I’ve never been a fan of soup. It’s sort of like hot juice.

Dan Fielding

I’m not a hero. I’m just a man who constantly does heroic things.

Dan Fielding

Meeting your heroes isn’t always great. When I was ten, I met my favorite astronaut. And she screamed and bit my hand. But in the Commander’s defense, she was a squirrel monkey.

Dan Fielding

Now that we’ve achieved all our dreams, only Death awaits.

Dan Fielding

When I’m being ambushed, I expect pastries.

Dan Fielding

This is not just some old metal detector. We called it Meg Ryan because prolonged exposure was known to melt people’s hearts.

Dan Fielding

I’m Dan Fielding. I’m tall, I’m a lawyer, I drive an expensive car. Do you believe in destiny? I do.

Dan Fielding

This was fun. We should have more conversations where I do all the talking.

Dan Fielding

A chicken and waffle joint comes to mind.

Dan Fielding

If you weren’t born, Walt Disney would have to draw you.

Dan Fielding

I have stood next to death and people liked him better.

Dan Fielding

Oh, to try a case that doesn’t involve genitals. That’d be the dream.

Olivia

Oh, I’m not putting energy into making this place better. I’m trying to get out of here. This isn’t a job. It’s an escape room.

Olivia

I hate kids. Just look at ‘em. Glowing with their big dreams and unearned confidence and overabundance of collagen. It’s just rude.

Olivia

Tell me all about the star battles. Fraggle rocks. If it contributed to your virginity, I want to know about it.

Olivia

My job isn’t exactly fulfilling, so I gotta find ways to keep my brain from eating itself.

Neil

Here’s a good rule of thumb. If you’re too scared to do something, I’m definitely too scared to do it.

Neil